Last week I had the pleasure of doing a #FridayFlash post at Danielle LaPaglia's blog. I enjoyed it so much, I've decided to participate as the mood and ideas strike. But since I'm so focused on my novels right now, I don't want to stray too far from those characters. Therefore, I've decided to use my #FridayFlash time for character studies, delving a little more into their emotions and histories. These will be very inconsistent and only go up when I have the inspiration, but I will always put them up on Thursdays if I have one.
Because I don't want to split my energies (or confuse my new #FridayFlash friends), I'm not separating the YA from the adult stuff. It'll all go here. This week I'm focusing on Elle, one of my teen characters. This would be between books one and two of the series (maybe later, but for now, I'd say there).
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All We Knew
The air hits my back, pushing against me unevenly and I tumble. My lungs burn as I struggle to breathe. There is nothing around me but the darkness, I only know down because I feel the pressure as I fall. My heart thuds in my chest, terror taking hold.
I reach out, grasping for something—anything—to slow my descent. Hopeful fingers brush against flesh that is not mine, and I latch onto you. Without warning, you pull me in and wrap me in your warm embrace, sheltering me from the biting air. With you there is light. Looking into your eyes, I see friendship…love…hope…
In your arms, the fear evaporates; here I am strong. Everything else disappears into the darkness, leaving only us and the falling. Your touch draws out pieces of me better kept hidden, but in your light they are beautiful.
Then the darkness grabs hold of you, wrenching you from my grasp. I scream your name as you fade into the black.
My arms are empty and the air buffets my body once more, all pretense of safety gone.
.
All we knew was falling.
.
And now I fall alone.
I love this, Sel! I'm so glad we sucked you into the dark side. ;)
ReplyDelete"In your light they are beautiful" ~ I love this and the last line brings it home. Great job!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Laura and Danielle La Paglia, Seleste deLaney. Seleste deLaney said: Okay, you people sucked me in. New #FridayFlash -- All We Knew http://bit.ly/aAfkSg [...]
ReplyDeleteThe same line hit me as Danni. I know the background for Elle, but I hope I get to see what's got her in freefall.
ReplyDeleteI love this line Sel- 'Your touch draws out pieces of me better kept hidden, but in your light they are beautiful.' It's so touching and poignant. Beautifully written, and a very strong piece of work.! :)
ReplyDeletePoor lonely faller. I've been playing with a story about inexplicable falling lately, hadn't thought to drop someone in with the victim. There wouldn't be safety about this, so spread your arms and enjoy the rush...
ReplyDeletedeeply touched by this
ReplyDeleteoh. nice... A touch of hope and then it is all yanked away.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments, everyone :)
ReplyDeleteIt's really interesting to read them knowing some of you know Elle and some don't :) Soon though... (*focuses on holiday releases instead--more than enough stress right there*)
I do know when I started book 2, I was floundering with Elle's emotions, so this sort of thing will really help me focus that aspect of things :)
Wow. Strong feelings here, falling, falling. Pretty powerful little excerpt. If the rest of the book is this good, you've got a very strong project going.
ReplyDeletehmmm...i could feel actually feel it.....fantastic
ReplyDeleteLovely. The thought of free falling without knowing where you'll land terrifies me but you wrote it beautifully.
ReplyDeleteVery nice! I love your writing style!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful, heartbreaking piece.
ReplyDeleteVery cool story! Flowed very nicely.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and wrenching, all at the same time.
ReplyDelete