Tuesday, August 27, 2013

I'm Back and Siri Is Stupid

Hi all! The summer of madness officially ends a week from today, at which point I'll start filling you all in on the drama and whatnot that has been consuming all my brain power. For now, I'm going to share a silly story from yesterday instead. (Please bear in mind that the conversation was not archived, so exact wording may be off, but the conversation is basically correct. And the later, funnier, bits are exactly what the damn thing said.)

So, I'm in the car with my kids driving to the grocery store when we start discussing bacon (as we often do). This led to the kids arguing about what male pigs are called. They both had solid arguments and I wasn't really sure who was right. (Turns out they both were in their own ways, but that's beside the point.) So I do what any good mother with an iPhone and her hands on the steering wheel would do--I turn to Siri. This is what happened...

Me: What are male pigs called?
Siri: I'm sorry, I don't see Mal Pecks in your phone book. Should I search the web for Mal Pecks?
Me (frustrated): What are male pigs called?
Siri: You have ____ new email messages. Which one would you like to read?
Me (getting cranky and trying to enunciate): What are MALE PIGS called?
Siri: I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean.
Me: Siri, you suck donkey balls.
Siri: Now, now.
Me (making WTF face): Well if you could understand any of the words coming out of my mouth...
Siri: I don't understand.
Me: Siri, you're a dumbass.
Siri: I am?
Me: Pretty sure.
Siri: I don't know what you mean. Would you like me to search the web for "pretty sure?"
Me: And thank you for proving my point.
Siri: It is I who should be thanking you.

At this point, the kids and I were laughing so hard, I couldn't talk anymore. It was a good night. Hope you had one of those too :)


  1. I await the day when our smartphones become truly smart. I think we'll be in big trouble...

    1. Can you imagine? They'll start calling us dumbasses back.

      "If you would just enunciate more clearly, we wouldn't have this problem. Dumbass."


  2. LOL. Awesome. My car does that to me, but only when I have passengers. :-)

    1. I usually don't have issues like this. I'm not really sure what happened suddenly that Siri doesn't understand me anymore :(


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