I'm Back and Siri Is Stupid

Hi all! The summer of madness officially ends a week from today, at which point I'll start filling you all in on the drama and whatnot that has been consuming all my brain power. For now, I'm going to share a silly story from yesterday instead. (Please bear in mind that the conversation was not archived, so exact wording may be off, but the conversation is basically correct. And the later, funnier, bits are exactly what the damn thing said.)

So, I'm in the car with my kids driving to the grocery store when we start discussing bacon (as we often do). This led to the kids arguing about what male pigs are called. They both had solid arguments and I wasn't really sure who was right. (Turns out they both were in their own ways, but that's beside the point.) So I do what any good mother with an iPhone and her hands on the steering wheel would do--I turn to Siri. This is what happened...

Me: What are male pigs called?
Siri: I'm sorry, I don't see Mal Pecks in your phone book. Should I search the web for Mal Pecks?
Me (frustrated): What are male pigs called?
Siri: You have ____ new email messages. Which one would you like to read?
Me (getting cranky and trying to enunciate): What are MALE PIGS called?
Siri: I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean.
Me: Siri, you suck donkey balls.
Siri: Now, now.
Me (making WTF face): Well if you could understand any of the words coming out of my mouth...
Siri: I don't understand.
Me: Siri, you're a dumbass.
Siri: I am?
Me: Pretty sure.
Siri: I don't know what you mean. Would you like me to search the web for "pretty sure?"
Me: And thank you for proving my point.
Siri: It is I who should be thanking you.

At this point, the kids and I were laughing so hard, I couldn't talk anymore. It was a good night. Hope you had one of those too :)

What Happens in Vegas...

Coming out of blogging hiatus to ask you to come hang with me in Vegas!

Seriously. I'm heading out this weekend for a friend's wedding and then I'm going to be in Vegas for the week for a conference. AND on Tuesday the 20th at 7pm, I (and a bunch of other Entangled authors) will be doing a signing at the Clark County Library (1401 E. Flamingo Rd.) Come out and see us! Buy books, get swag, chat about books! What could be better than all that?

Oh yeah. It's in VEGAS! WOOOT!

Ahem. I might be a little excited :)

Seriously, stop by and talk to me about whatever. Books. My new house. Vampires. Steampunk. Sex. Jeremy Renner. (Yeah. If someone could actually get Renner to show up, I would kiss said person. I might kiss Renner too--it'd be worth the restraining order after.)

So please stop by if you can.

And my blogging hiatus is officially over after I get back from Vegas. Time to get this thing back in gear :)

And did I mention?

VEGAS, BABY!!!!!