Friday, January 7, 2011

Book Sex Versus Real Sex

Advance warning that I'm going to talk about sex in this post. Should have been evident by the title, but in case you didn't get it...there will be sex. And at points there may be TMI involved. Feel free to read this paragraph, cover your eyes and go running for the hills (ie hit your back button or close the window or whatever). I promise not to be offended.

If you stick around, I hope you won't be offended.

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Good, now that we've got that cleared up we can get down to business. Here's the thing. I've decided I need to write a contemporary romantic comedy.

I can see some of my friends staring at the screen and blinking really slowly before they scroll up to make sure they're at the right place. Yeah, it's still me, and I know both contemporary and rom com are totally outside my comfort zone for writing. Hear me out though. The sex I write in my spec fic? It isn't real. I'm not sure I've ever had sex like that. You know, the kind that goes perfectly right. No awkward embraces, every touch sets something on fire (and not in a bad way), everyone has a rock-my-world orgasm.

Yeah. Not that those things don't happen, but I can't say I've ever had them all happen at the same time. Where everything was perfect.

Real sex just isn't like that. Real sex involves things like leg cramps and dryness and too much saliva and one person being done way before the other one. Occasionally, real sex even involves accidentally kicking your partner in the head*, leaving you both laughing so much it's hard to get back to what you were trying to do in the first place. Real, honest to goodness sex is often funny. Someone tries to say something sexy and it comes out sounding ridiculous, or worse, they belch in the middle of it.

But that doesn't make for a sexy love scene.

So I've decided, just once, I want to write a story about real people and real sex.

You know...just to see if I can.

The real question is this: would you read it?

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*No spouses were harmed in the making of this blog post**

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**At least not permanently.

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Addendum at the request of my husband: Just to clarify, I have actually had wonderful, mind-blowing sex. In fact, I was having some recently...until my mother-in-law knocked on the door. Yep. That's real sex.

7 comments:

  1. I'd read it. Sounds refreshingly different from beautiful people having beautiful shags. I'm surprised those erotic romance heroines don't get yeast infections ;-)

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  2. I'd read it! I think it sounds funny and fun. Of course we all write ideal sex scenes because it's fantasy, but sometimes it's fun to play with reality.

    And I love the addendum from The Mr. DeLaney!

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  3. I'd read it. As much as I love my smutty books it always makes me feel so inadequate.
    I've only just recently read a book involving the heroine stopping to make sure the guy has a condom on, first time I've ever read about safe sex in a book.
    And, like you stated, the whole everyone has a mind blowing orgasm ..... yeah, no!

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  4. Hm, that's a tougher draw for me. I like the real sex idea, but I just don't do real fiction. I like otherworldly things happening in our world, or historical, or something else "other". I'd give it a shot because it was by someone I know and like :) . . . but it wouldn't be something I would naturally pick up.

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  5. I don't really do romantic comedies or comedy much at all... but if you wrote it, I'd read it :)

    Julie

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  6. Oh heck yes! I love real situations in romance...anything that will make me laugh is a bonus. The way you describe 'real' sex reminds me of the style of Dakota Cassidy, I could totally imagine her writing a sex scene like that LOL

    Hope you'll keep us posted on how you're going with it, Seleste, and the hurdles you'll have to over come to get certain scenes 'right'. ENJOY and try not to kick anyone in the head while doing research ;)

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  7. I just totally did the blink, backscroll, reread.

    But I would read it for sure!

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